The premise of The Simple Life is hysterically enough, pretty simple.
Pop culture “ic-offs,” Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (daughter
of Lionel), devoid of cell phones and money, must spend one month in Altus,
Arkansas (pop. 817) on a farm. BARF! To tell you the truth, I never even cared
about this show. I never watched it, and none of the televidiots I know came
up to me with the obligatory “O-M-G! Did you see Simple Life
last night?” I actually rolled my eyes whenever I saw a commercial. I
expected just another trashy voyeuristic journey into the lives of two people
I couldn’t possibly care about. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Alright, I’m just going to come out and say it- I love this show. I know
it’s contrived, and I know it’s overproduced, but nonetheless this
perfect example of TV saccharine is the answer to a TV landscape that includes
“Reality” TV sequels up the wahzoo (Stay tuned for “Real World
547: Mars!”), and sit-coms so tired that I’d rather bang my head
against a wall than waste half an hour of my life on them. This foray into absurdity
is dangerously funny, causing laughter so violent that I was close to either
tears or wetting my pants. Wild, pie-eating dogs can’t drag this DVD away
from me!
The Simple Life should also come with a disclaimer that warns
unhealthy attachments to Nicole Richie may result. She’ll become your
new celebrity crush. Say what you must about Paris, but Nicole has stolen my
heart. I’ve longed for a girl to call me a hot bitch and tell me that
I smell like onions, a girl who would steal something and give it to me as a
present, a girl who would say mean things to my ex-girlfriend’s face…
a girl who would shove her gloved arm inside of a cow’s vagina.
Every scrunched nose facial expression, every ear piercing screech, every hearty
laugh, every raunchy comment, Nicole is perfectly crass. One part brat, the
other part sweetheart, she pulls this Paris-driven vehicle out from under her
and is captivating as the driving force of humor and mischief. Watch what happens
when the gals must convince their boss that Nicole’s cat died. You’ll
see that Nicole is the mail-order merchandise to Paris’ Styrofoam filler.
I don’t know if it’s because she doesn’t have a personality,
or because she is trying really hard to look cool, but whatever it is, Paris
is disappointingly just plain wooden. Hopefully, but probably not, it just might
hamper her segue from homemade night-vision documentarian to “legitimate”
actress, but it most likely won’t perhaps because of her newfound internet
following.
The other stars of the show, the Leding Family and the rest of the 810 people
in Altus are a huge supporting cast with comedy and awkwardness just waiting
to erupt. With every turn and adventure, the girls come across more and more
people to scandalize. It’s a little like how in “To Wong Foo,”
Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes come to the rescue of the drab small town women,
only Nicole and Paris are teaching about being crass and lewd while trying to
appear like nice girls, which of course results in unavoidable hilarity.
The Leding Family, parents Albert and Janet, grandparents Curly and Richard,
and the three boys, Justin, Cayne, and easily the funniest kid on television
now- Braxton, are either really really good actors, or they have a really good
sense of humor and got paid a lot. Some of the funnier moments come from the
“confessional couch” segments when Albert and Janet are confounded
at the girls’ behaviors, or moments when the editing stretches awkward
silences beyond all natural tolerance. Your skin will crawl for the 15 long
seconds after a neighbor asks Paris, “So, your last name’s Motel
6?”- an original joke, I’ll give them that, but painfully uncomfortable
to watch. Also watch for reactions from the slack-jawed townspeople as our favorite
tartlets prance about the town spreading their
enjoyable conversation and ideologies. My favorite- “1/2 PRICE ANAL SALTY
WIENER BUGERS” a slogan the girls decide to put on the sign at Sonic Burgers.
Hi-larious!
Simply put, har har, The Simple Life is so good because of
the absurdity of the situational comedy. From the moment Nicole and Paris step
off their private jet in Arkansas, to their tearful goodbyes, nothing makes
any sense. The girls lie and steal and get fired from several jobs, with seemingly
no real consequences. In fact, the only reality I could notice was how bad Paris
and Nicole's hair extensions got as the show progressed.
The DVD formatting here is actually decent, utilizing the double sided disc,
which I’m sure is in some way better for the environment. Both include
a kitschy animation of Paris and Nicole going from L.A. chic to barnyard chic
and the menu art includes two fantasticly animated pigs and a hoppy rooster.
Menu features include convenient options to play all episodes or go episode
by episode, but in order to fit both the episodes themselves and studio photos
of Paris and Nicole on the screen, the five episodes on side A are split between
two pages, which is only slightly obnoxious. Side B has two more episodes and
a handful of out-takes that didn’t fit in the show, but are pretty funny-
Paris and Nicole shop for clothes at a hunting store, play pranks at the vet’s
office, and master the art of the can opener. Another is a taxidermy job story
arc that unfortunately wasn’t used in the actual show. The DVD offers
English subtitles, because I guess some of those Arkansas accents can get pretty
thick, but that’s all you get for special features. But hey, if you think
about it, isn’t the WHOLE thing a special feature?
Despite everything that would normally tell you not to watch this, The
Simple Life is a definite to at the very least rent, but I would go
as far to say it’s worth purchasing to re-live the special and unforgettably
funny moments whenever the need arises. I can't wait for season two!
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