The Lizzie McGuire Movie, a spin-off of the Disney
series, while successful with its target audience from ages 6-12, does nothing
for adults, who will inevitably sit with their children to watch this film.
Hilary Duff, like I said before in my Agent Cody Banks review, is nothing
but bland and her talent leaves the audience struggling to stay awake. Lizzie's
bubble gum land must suffer from a huge burst before she realizes that not every
teenage girl “defines herself” through clothes, makeup and boys.
Or do they?
Hilary Duff is to Disney as Amanda Bynes is to Nickelodeon. In
all honesty, I think that What a Girl Wants is a much more bearable movie
than The Lizzie McGuire Movie. While both follow along the same plot
lines, both girls going off to foreign lands to meet handsome boys who show
them around “town” on their motor bikes, The Lizzie McGuire Movie
fails to offer any poignant thoughts on “what it’s like to be a
teen.” What a Girl Wants follows along a girl’s path, while
still filled with bubble gum moments, as she longs to find her identity by searching
for her biological father. Lizzie simply looks for “adventure” while
on a school field trip.
To give a brief recap on the plot, The Lizzie McGuire Movie
follows along the path of young Lizzie McGuire as she graduates junior high
school and embarks upon a school fieldtrip to Italy. Lizzie meets pop-star sensation
Paolo (Yani Gellman), who mistakes Lizzie for looking identically like his singing
partner Isabella. Apparently Paolo and Isabella had a falling out and Paolo
needs Lizzie to stand in for Isabella at the international music awards. Lizzie
feigns illness to ride around Rome and rehearse with Paolo instead of sitting
on a school bus with the rest of her classmates as they tour Italy. Meanwhile,
Lizzie’s best friend, Gordo (Adam Lamberg) covers for her yet all the
while longing to be her boyfriend.
Hilary Duff dresses as if she is in her mid-twenties in this film. Her wardrobe
and her figure look like they belong to a 24 year-old woman, not a 14 year-old
girl. At one point she comes in as Isabella with a dark brown wig and an accent
that could take the reigns as the most horrible accent in a film topping Colin
Farrell’s Bronx accent in Phone Booth. It’s funny to watch
Duff lip-synching to her own voice which is so electronically boosted that it
mirrors Cher’s “Do You Believe in Life After Love?” sound.
I’m thinking that if Justin and Kelly joined Lizzie, they could all have
a beach party in Italy, sing songs of teenage euphoria and save the movie-going
audience their well-deserved cash.
Looking to the positive – there are a few charming moments within the
script that make any girl long for an exotic lover in Italy. Alex Borstein as
Miss Ungermeyer, the class trip chaperone, adds some wonderful moments of comedic
relief as she attempts to maintain order with her students.
Moving onto the special features section we first have the “In the Recording
Studio With Hilary” featurette. This was enough to put my friend and me
on the floor with laughter. First of all, the producers have Hilary, funny enough,
lip-synching to her own vocal track. This is definitely not a live recording
session. They even have her sitting at the sound board adjusting knobs as if
she has any clue what any of them do. There is nobody in this recording session
BUT Hilary – it appears as if she does everything on her own. This is
just insanity – skip it!
Another feature is Hilary’s music video, “Why Not?” I still
can’t believe this is the title of a song. Soon people are going to be
scrambling for titles like, “Who’s There?” and “What’s
That?” This video has Hilary on an Avril Lavigne-esque bandstand wearing
converse sneakers and an all black getup. Identity crisis?
“Off The Cutting Room Floor” shows us about three scenes that are
deleted from the film. One scene has Paolo and Lizzie shopping for clothes and
Paolo explaining to Lizzie that she can buy anything that she wants and the
record company will pay for it. Soon bags upon bags begin to fly about and their
car becomes packed with loads of clothes. The next scene is an alternate ending
where it shows Lizzie and Gordo on the plane flying home and Lizzie says, “If
I didn’t know any better I’d think this whole thing was a dream…luckily,
I got to keep the clothes.” I think the smart decision was to cut this
ending.
Last is a feature called “Hilary’s Roman Adventure” and we
go behind-the-scenes of the film with Hilary narrating. I think this statement
from Hilary pretty much sums up this feature – “The most important
thing I’ve learned since I’ve been in Italy is gelato is Italian
for ice cream.” Can someone teach this girl a history lesson?
While this film may appeal to those kids who are on the verge of becoming a
teenager, it doesn’t work for anyone older than this. If you are looking
for a good teen flick, this one will not meet your expectations. Maybe fans
of the TV show will dig it and therefore should go out and purchase this DVD
but for those of you who didn’t get a chance to see it in theaters –
don’t bother picking it up – leave it to rest peacefully on the
shelf.
My final thoughts: Parents, let your kids watch this film alone. Washing dishes
would be a more sufficient and productive activity.
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